Archive for August, 2011

Things I Remember About You

Dear Lili,

This post will be different from others, in that I’m going to keep adding on to it as I think of things I remember about you. There won’t be any special order toi these; I’ll just add things as they come into my head. So keep checking back to see what else I put in there.

Someday I hope to hear what you remembered about me.

Love always,

Your Dad xoxoxoxoxox


August 1, 2011

You loved to watch the Teletubbies:

and Pingu:

I loved watching those shows with you, too. 😉


August 1, 2011

You thought the lullaby song “Rock-a-bye Baby” was called “Rock-a-my Baby.”

Rock-a-bye Baby – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So I used to sing you to sleep like this:

“Rock-a-my baby, on the treetop,

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,

And down will come baby, cradle and all.”

You always wanted me to sing again and again, and I would say how many times, and you’d say things like “a hundred million thousand billion seventy-five sixty hundred thousand times.” Then I’d roll my eyes and make a funny face and say, “That’s too much!!!” And we’d both laugh together at that. That was one of our little jokes.

But I’d sing to you until you fell asleep, and tuck you in, and kiss your cheek and say good night. And I’d give anything in the world to have just one of those moments back again. 8)


August 1, 2011

You liked riding on my shoulders. You used to call it “ride on top.”

We used to have such fun together. 🙂


August 1, 2011

One time we went away to the mountains and took a chair lift like this to the top of one:

You called it a “flying sofa.” I thought that was so cute, and very clever, too. It is kind of like a flying sofa, isn’t it? LOL 8)


August 2, 2011

You were really smart. I taught you to read and by the time you were four years old you were already reading at a First Grade level

You could also name all 50 U.S. states.

And you knew the names of all nine planets. (Pluto was still a planet at the time.)

I was always so proud of my beautiful and intelligent little girl. 8)


August 2, 2011

One time when we were visiting Nonnie and Poppie in Florida the two of us took a long morning walk to the supermarket to buy some things for breakfast. While we were there we saw that they were selling helium balloons. Of course, I bought you one and we tied in on your wrist. But halfway home the string became untied and the baloon flew away.

Naturally you started crying but I told you “Don’t worry. We’ll just get another one, okay?” So we turned around and went back to the supermaket and I bought you a new balloon, and you said “Thank you, Daddy,” and gave me a big hug and a kiss.

And I felt like a hero to my little girl. And at that moment in time, everything was all right with the world. 😉


August 4, 2011

When we were traveling around the East Coast by car I bought a few CDs to listen to in the car. I was surprised to find out that you liked The Ramones, just like me.

You especially like “Sheena is a Punk Rocker” and “Blitzkrieg Bop.” You were bobbing your head up and down and in the rear view mirror I could see how much you enjoyed the music.

Even though we drove for many hours up to Niagara Falls and back you never once complained, and I think you just enjoyed spending time together, as did I, of course. That was the happiest time of my life, Lili, that month we spent together in August 2003. Hard to believe that was 8 years ago now. 😦


August 4, 2011

You used to like to watch The Raptones at 5:00 PM on the weekdays.

When the 5 o’clock bell in town would ring you’d look at me and say, “Is Raptones is on?

You spoke English as your first language, but after you started going to yochien you picked up Japanese really fast. I’d say you were fully bilingual by the time you were 5 years old. 8)


August 17, 2011

After Daddy and Mama split up I picked you up one particular weekend and you came over the apartment. Without asking you picked up a broom and started sweeping the terrace outside. I said that you didn’t have to do that, but you said “Mommy isn’t here anymore, so I have to help you.”

I was so proud of you, and so happy you loved your Daddy so much that wanted to help him. That’s the kind of kid you were, and I know still are. 8)


August 24, 2011

When I used to come home from work you could hear me coming up the stairs and would run to the door. And as I was walking up I could hear you inside running on the wood floor toward the door. So by the time I got to the top of the stairs and opened the door you would already be there waiting for me, and you would do that adorable little “dogeza” to welcome me home. And we’d hug and kiss and before I could even get my shoes off you’d start saying, “Hey, Dad, you know what…?” and start telling me about something you learned today or drew today or made today. Sometimes even now when I walk up the stairs I listen for the pitter patter of your little feet. I miss you so much, bubby.


August 26, 2011

When we would ride on the train you always wanted me to hold you in my arms so you could reach up and hold on to the commuter strap yourself.

Sometimes I see little boys or girls on the train asking their daddies to do the same thing. Of course, I always think of you whenever that happens. 8)


September 5, 2011

We used to like to go to the park and play with sparklers and other fireworks.

I remember the second to last weekend we spent together in July 2004 we went to the little Midori Koen near our house in Higashi-Nakano one evening to play with the fireworks. Towards the end of the evening you accidentally grabbed the wrong part of the sparkler after it went out but was still hot and burned your fingers. I did exactly the same thing once when I was a kid. You started crying but Daddy came to the rescue and we ran your little finger under the cold water at the water fountain and that made you feel better. Then I ran home with you in my arms and as soon as we got there I put ice on your fingers, and you were fine. Such a simple thing, but comforting my little girl always made me feel good and made me understand what my purpose in life was.

I’m still here for you, Lili, for a burned finger or otherwise. 8)


September 18, 2012

I remember one weekend back in 2004 when you were visiting me. I was so happy to see you again and to be able to spend time with you, as our visits together were becoming less and less frequent. I was afraid that little by little, you were slipping away from me. But on that weekend you told me over and over again, “Hey, Dad. You know what. I love you.” Maybe somehow you felt what I was feeling and wanted to make me feel better, because you must have said that a hundred times that weekend. I told you how much I loved you back, of course, and for that brief time, I felt everything was going to be okay between us. But I heard not long after that you didn’t want to see me anymore, and my heart broke into a thousand pieces. Still, I will never believe that that was how you really felt, and I hang on to the memory of that weekend, and others, and dream of the day when you will say to me again…

Because I love you too, bubby. I always have and I always will. And nothing can ever change that. 8)


April 21, 2019

When I made coffee in the morning, I used to say “I wish somebody would help me grind the coffee!” And then you’d come into the kitchen and bring the coffee beans for me in there coffeee mill because you thought it was a fun to do.


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