How I felt the first time I saw your face, Lili. This made me think of you because this is how old you were the last time I saw you.
Love,
Daddy
Archive for the ‘Songs for Lili’ Category
I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on April 14, 2019| Leave a Comment »
Fall On Me
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on March 24, 2019| Leave a Comment »
Dear Lili,
I’m still here for you, as I always have been, if ever you should need me.
Love,
Dad ❤
Baby Blue
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on March 14, 2019| Leave a Comment »
Dear Lili,
I always wonder what I could have done to change the fate we now share. Was there something I could have said, some action I could have taken to keep you in my life. I know the answer is no, that I did everything I could to fight for you and to continue to be your father. So it’s not a rational thought, but one driven by emotion — emotion that supersedes logic and reason.
Did I leave it too long? Can I ever hope now to undo the damage that has been done? I guess I’ll never know until we are reunited, if that ever comes to pass. In the meantime, like any father, I’l continue to question whether or not I could have prevented this sad sate of affairs from coming to pass. And even though my mind tells me I could not, my heart still suggests otherwise.
Love always,
Dad ❤
Happy Twentieth Birthday, Lili-Chan!
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on June 30, 2018| Leave a Comment »
Dear Lili,
I can hardly believe that it was 20 years ago this evening that I was sitting in the waiting room at Keio Hospital awaiting your birth. How is it possible that today, you are no longer a child, but an adult? And me? I’m a 60-year-old man now, planning my retirement.
I wish I could have watched you grow up all these years. I wish I could have taught you how to ride a bicycle, and taken you camping in the mountains, and seen you graduate from junior high school, and comfort you the first time some boy broke your heart. I wish I could have done a lot of things, but that was not to be. The reason why I guess you’ll come to understand in time now that you’ve become an adult.
But for now, my only hope is that you will believe that I would have been a part of your life if I could have, and that I tried with everything I could to be a part of your life. Your father never walked away from you. I am still here, and I’m still waiting for you after all of these years to pick up the phone and call, to send me an email, or to knock on my door.
And for now, I will keep posting notes in this blog, like messages in bottles that I cast out onto the tides in hopes that one day they will reach you, and one day you will know that your father never forgot about you, and that the father you once knew and loved is still the same, and that for him, his love for you has never changed.
Happy 20th Birthday, Sweetheart.
You are always in my heart!
Love always,
Your Dad
P.S. Here’s the only gift I can give you now — a song.
.
Happy 19th Birthday, Lili!
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on June 30, 2017| Leave a Comment »
Dear Lili,
How is it possible that 19 years ago at this very minute I was sitting in Keio Hospital waiting for the birth of my first, and as it turns out, my only child. Time just keeps slipping by, faster and faster it seems the older I become.
And over the past 13 years since I last saw you, I’ve waited for you to pick up the phone, send me an email, or knock on my door. Despite the thousands of disappointing days that have gone by since our parting, I have never given up hope that someday we can be the father and daughter we once were. I don’t know what you remember, it’s been so long. But I remember. I remember it all. We used to be very close. We laughed and sang and played silly games together. We watched Pingu and Peewee Herman and Dumbo together. And nothing could come between us. Until it did.
I still have all of your things — your baby shoes and toddler clothes, your books, your toys, and your drawings. Someday when you want to know who you really are and where you came from, it’s all here, these souvenirs of a life once lived, of happy times a father and daughter once shared together.
I’ve never said a bad word to you about your mother, and I never will. To me, the idea of coming between a parent and a child is unimaginable. You have to decide how you feel about your parents. You and you alone. I just hope that someday you will want to know the other side of who you are.
As I’ve said to you many times before,
You are always in my heart.
Love always,
Daddy XOXOXO
❤ ❤ ❤
Souvenirs
by Dan Fogelberg
Here is a poem
That my lady sent down
Some morning while
I was away.
Wrote on the back of
A leaf that she found
Somewhere around Monterey.
And here is the key
To a house far away
Where I used to live
As a child.
They tore down the building
When I moved away
And left the key unreconciled.
And down in the canyon
The smoke starts to rise.
It rides on the wind
Till it reaches your eyes.
When faced with the past
The strongest man cries…cries.
And down in the canyon
The smoke starts to rise.
It rides on the wind
Till it reaches your eyes.
When faced with the past
The strongest man cries…cries.
And here is a sunrise
To set on your sill.
The ghosts of the dawn
Moving near.
They pass through your sorrow
And leave you quite still…
Sitting among souvenirs.
……………………………………….
Back on the Chain Gang
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on August 9, 2016| Leave a Comment »
“I found of picture of you…”
Dear Lili,
Someday, I hope you will come to understand that this long separation from you was not my choice. I tried for years to be a part of your life, but I guess you’ll have to take my word for that now. There are many things that you don’t know, and once you start to search for answers to what happened to us, I will be happy to tell you my side of the story. Until then, I’ll wait, as I always have, for your telephone call, your email or your knock on my door. My heart and my arms will always be open for you.
Love always,
Daddy ❤
Back on the Chain Gang, by The Pretenders
I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
What hijacked my world that night
To a place in the past
We’ve been cast out of? Oh oh oh oh
Now we’re back in the fight
We’re back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
A circumstance beyond our control, Oh oh oh oh
The phone, the TV and the news of the world
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh
Threw sand in our eyes and descended like flies
Put us back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
The powers that be
That force us to live like we do
Bring me to my knees
When I see what they’ve done to you
But I’ll die as I stand here today
Knowing that deep in my heart
They’ll fall to ruin one day
For making us part
I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
Those were the happiest days of my life
Like a break in the battle was your part, oh oh oh oh
In the wretched life of a lonely heart
Now we’re back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang
.
Wild World
Posted in For My Princess Lili, Songs for Lili on July 22, 2016| Leave a Comment »
Dear Lili,
I never stopped worrying about you, and I guess I never will. I hope you are taking good care of yourself. Because I’ll always remember you like a child, girl.
Love always and forever,
Daddy ❤
Wild World
by Cat Stevens
Now that I’ve lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it’s breakin’ my heart you’re leavin’
Baby, I’m grievin’
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl
You know I’ve seen a lot of what the world can do
And it’s breakin’ my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad girl
Don’t be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl
Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there’s a lot of bad and beware
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
It’s hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it’s a wild world
I’ll always remember you like a child, girl
.
