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Archive for the ‘For My Princess Lili’ Category

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How I felt the first time I saw your face, Lili. This made me think of you because this is how old you were the last time I saw you. 

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Lili,

I’m still here for you, as I always have been, if ever you should need me.

Love,

Dad ❤

 

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Dear Lili, 

I always wonder what I could have done to change the fate we now share. Was there something I could have said, some action I could have taken to keep you in my life. I know the answer is no, that I did everything I could to fight for you and to continue to be your father. So it’s not a rational thought, but one driven by emotion — emotion that supersedes logic and reason. 

Did I leave it too long? Can I ever hope now to undo the damage that has been done? I guess I’ll never know until we are reunited, if that ever comes to pass. In the meantime, like any father, I’l continue to question whether or not I could have prevented this sad sate of affairs from coming to pass. And even though my mind tells me I could not, my heart still suggests otherwise.

Love always, 

Dad ❤



 

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Dear Lili,

Sorry for wishing you a late Happy New Year. As I told you in the previous post, I’ve had to have a couple of surgeries over the past two months. They were kind of difficult, but both were very successful and I’m home now recuperating.

I’m hoping that 2019 is the year when you and I can be reunited as father and daughter. I don’t know where you live now, but you can still find me in the apartment where you took your first bath, and took your first steps, and spoke your first words. My door is always open to you if you ever find your way back here.

Until then, I’ll be thinking of you every day as I always do, and await your return to this side of your family.

You are always in my heart!

Love always,

Daddy

Howe Caverns, New York August 2003

***

A few more of my favorite pics of us together!

Disney World, Orlando, Florida March 2003


Niagara Falls, New York, August 2003

Christmas 2003 at home

***

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November 18, 2018

Dear Lili,

I hardly know how to begin this post, but begin I must. Things are, well, uncertain in my life right now.

A week ago Tuesday a tumor was discovered in my bladder. I don’t know how bad it is or is not yet, but I’m scheduled for surgery tomorrow to find out more. I didn’t ever want to have to write this kind of news to you, but there it is. The doctor seems very positive, and in fact, the cancer has not spread to other organs, so that much is good news. So I’m keeping a positive mind, and praying for the best.

In any case, whatever happens, please know that I never abandoned you. Know that I fought hard to be a part of your life, and that I wish I could have been a part of it growing up. But that was not to be.

Know that I love you with all my heart, and that no matter what happens, know that your father loves you without reservation, and that if the chance does come to us someday, my arms are always open to you.

If you do read this blog, I’ll be at the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Hospital in Nakano-ku, Room 846 until November 23. I would love to see you again, now more than ever.

You are now and always have been in my heart.

Love always,

Daddy ❤ ❤ ❤

Me, your Uncle David, and Nonnie and Poppie circa 1962

***

 

Update: Nov. 21. 2018

Looks like my surgery went very well, Lili. I’ll be leaving the hospital tomorrow, on Nov. 22. I’m going to need a second surgery in December, but my prognosis looks very good indeed. Your Dad is pretty tough, and I’m going to beat this thing so someday, I hope, I can see my sweet daughter again and tell her how much I’ve missed her and how much I love her!

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Ariel

Athene

In Nikko, August 7, 2018

 

Dear Lili,

I don’t know if you’re reading this blog or not. I like to think that maybe you are, and that you’re just trying to decide what to make of it (and me). After all, I guess you don’t really know me as you once did.

You should know that several of your cousins have been trying to get in touch with you. I can’t tell you now why they haven’t been able to do so for legal reasons, but if you want to know that truth of what’s been happening, I’ll be more than happy to explain things to you.

Just know that your American family has not abandoned you. We’re all still hopping to one day be a part of your life.

Love always,

Your Dad

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