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“The past can haunt a man. That’s what they say. But the past is just a series of moments, each one perfect, complete. A bead on the necklace of time.  The past doesn’t haunt us — wouldn’t even recognize us. If there are ghosts to be found, it’s us who haunt the past. We haunt it so we can look again, see the people we miss and the things we missed about them.”

— Reminiscence

You will always be my daughter, no matter what others may have told you.
Love always,
Your Dad

Lili’s 1st Birthday

Dear Lili,

So hard to believe that it was 25 years ago today that you came into this world and changed my life forever. My only wish today is that I could say happy birthday to you face to face. 

You’ll never know, perhaps, what effect the loss of my precious daughter had on me. I think of you every day, and on this day especially, I cry those tears that never end. You will always be a part of me, and until the day that I leave this Earth, I pray every day that someday, somehow, you will come to the realization that I am not the man you have been led to believe I am, and that I am  instead the man you once loved evey bit as much as I loved you then, and still love now without abatement.

Until then, “Dum spiro spreo”.

You are always in my heart.

Love, 

Daddy

Hard to believe I started this blog 12 years ago, in the hopes that someday you would see it and someday reach out to me and find out who your real father is — really is — and not the person others have portrayed me to be. I still hold out hope that that someday will come to pass, despite the years of disappointment that have intervened between when I started this and now. A father’s love is forever, and I will never stop hoping to be reunited with you, not until my dying day.

I love you with all my heart, Lili. That is the essential truth.

You are always in my heart. You always have been and ever shall be.

Your One and Only Dad

My Ex-Wife Bad-Mouths Me to Our Boys. Can I Tell Them the Truth About Her? – The New York Times

Cuteness overload!!!

You and your cousin Ariel used to be so close. More like sisters than cousins. When you would see each other you were both so happy, always giggling and hugging one another.

Here are some pics of the two of you together when we were all visiting Florida in March 2001.

Love always,

Dad