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On the Pain of Left-Behind Parenthood

The art of life is the art of avoiding pain; and he is the best pilot, who steers clearest of the rocks and shoals with which it is beset.

— Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson knew the pain of loss. He was devastated by the death of his wife Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson who died after giving birth to their sixth child, Lucy Elizabeth (1782-1784).

So, too, do we know the pain of loss — the loss of our children through the arrogance and callousness of the Japanese legal system and the country’s elected representatives. And yet we must endure, and avoid the rocks and shoals that threaten to tear our ships asunder. We have to be there for the kids, who someday will seek us out, and who will need us to be strong for them.

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